Hello, my little cherry blossoms! How have you all been?

I have been off my rocker and we all know it. I thought I could give up movie hangovers but they just can’t get enough of me. Tonight, already in a surly mood and looking for something watchable, I headed off to see The Mummy, the second movie reboot (that I know of) of the original movies back in the early 1900s.

NOW, going into this, I already knew that reboots tended to suck. But the makeup

the fact that the monster was a woman

the beautiful shots

they all whispered in my ear to listen to the opinions of my non-horror watching friends.

You see where my mistake was, right?

I can avoid these kinds of incidents when I write it out like this, ahead of time, but I wanted to watch so bad.

So let’s talk about the good!

Screen Shot 2017-06-25 at 12.40.21 PM

Definitely not the advertisement

The opening shots were incredible. I mean the pyramids weren’t eroded back then but okay, good enough. The backstory was pretty if not a little stereotypical.

I think I was just blinded by Sofia Boutella.

The antagonist’s catalyst actually was both terrifying and something I hadn’t seen done like that before. I liked it. A lot.

It was rushed for my taste but I figured that I’d get more of that.

I mean no, I never did. No new shots or anything. They mostly replayed the first but anyway. See? I can’t even discuss what I liked.

I’m just going to spoil the movie and save you an average of twenty bucks per person: it was an origin story. Like some sort of weird God superhero thing, yeah. Imagine. Tom Cruise. Not the hero we wanted but the hero we needed.

The movie derailed so fast I literally had to sit up and question whether I just saw the Mandela Effect in action because there was no flow. And everyone just went with it. It was so bad, a pox on all their reboots!

You know, as if they weren’t already cursed.

After our hero, who is an idiot and a robber and just a general unlikable jackass, frees the jailed mummy, he’s picked to become her chosen sacrifice. A living vessel for the god of the dead Set.

I’m still rolling my eyes and the movies been over for hours.

But anyway!

Our dear love interest, who is no charmer and is equally unlikable, is pushy about endangering just as many soldiers as he did–did I forget to mention this is in Iraq–to bring back the jailed mummy? (By the way, you’ll see why this is the dickiest move.)

They try to take it to England. Mummy murders a few people. Tom survives and no one is rolling in to harvest his immortal flesh for some reason.

Tom suffers from hallucinations and he’s being lured toward the mummy who is pretty cool and evil but sadly stuck in this shitty movie.

Tom takes Love Interest to the forest where the plane crashes. All hell breaks loose AND…and then the evil busters show up and detain the mummy.

But oh no. No no no. Not only are you mad that this bullshit is sucking the horror out of someone who should be borrowing a lot of godlike powers, you find out as you’re questioning your life choices that the person leading this circus of evil busters which Love Interest is part of is also none other than Jekyll/Hyde.

That’s when I knew I’d be writing this review.

I am so offended that something that has such pretty shots, great effects, the best potential for a reboot got this shared universe cop out bullshit. We all get it. Marvel had an original idea, please stop trying to wank to it too.

I won’t even apologize for the language. This movie was such a disappointment. The “humor” was so contrived and unlike its villains dead that I was actually getting smug about my dad-like jokes. Not a good thing for someone who hands out secondhand embarrassment like coupons outside a newly opened business.

I am so ashamed to be part of the same world that these people are in. I wikipediaed who shat this story and there were so many names, it wasn’t rocket science to figure out who screwed the pooch on this one.

I should have gotten up and left when the first five people walked out of the theater. I should have but I kept telling myself endings make things better.

Then I just got a pie to the face.

If I wanted to watch an origin movie with horrible humor, horrible characters, and horrible sense of tension, I would have just watched Joss toss it to himself by watching another Avengers movie.

I want a refund but I don’t expect it. Too many people screwed for me to be any different.


Not even drunk.

Sorry if this review came off as more of a rant. If you’d like to discuss more about how this movie went and shots and what not, you can always @ me on Twitter at @horrormovieelia.

Thanks so much for reading. We’ll talk soon!



Worksheet Fun: Snowflake Method by Randy Ingermanson

Hello, everyone!

Who’s ready for NaNoWriMo?

Right. Er, I mean ‘Write.’

Like some of the people who are actually writing this year, I will be revisiting an old story that just never got off well.

Even unfinished, I know where I went wrong. Hence, why I made a worksheet. I’m hoping some of you will find it helpful too.

So without further ado…

This has been a long time coming, first off! Second, this is all based on Randy Ingermanson’s method. I just put it into a form that I could print out and write on, since plotting is easier for me to do on paper. Here we go.

I obviously couldn’t put every little thing you could chart out of a character for the full character chart. I did the best I could but my mind was mostly set in young adult, so it might be lacking a few things you’d want to add about other important characters.

But feel free to change it by converting the PDF. It’s Randy Ingermanson’s idea, I hold no claim on it. I just rewrote what he wrote and Bubblecow so I could plot under pretty fonts.



Some things I learned from writing (hello, nearly ten years of steady storytelling–day in and day out in fictional worlds!):

If this is your first time writing, don’t write for anyone but you. In fact, don’t write. Tell yourself a story. Delve as deep and as far. Have fun. You like action like me? Push your character off a metaphorical cliff. Like romance? Have your hero walk by the love of his life in the first page. The first sentence. In the same heartbeat as the first word. Do it!

Don’t edit. Don’t even reread. Keep the vision in your head the vision in your head. Keep writing.

The more in tune you are with your character, meaning the less you have to do with what’s happening to what’s happening to them, the more genuine the writing. The surprise, the adventure, etc. Trust me!

Never, if someone gives you worksheets, think this is a fool-proof, perfect way to write. In fact, please don’t follow things like Hero’s Journey or Five Act to the letter. Because the most beloved stories are the ones who turn tropes on their heads.

Did I mention have fun? Because that is EVERYTHING. You will not meet a writer/author who writes other than for the reason of pure pleasure. 🙂



Let’s be writing buddies at!

❤ Best of luck, guys!

Today is Mash Up Day!

Hello, everybody!

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I’ve been up to no good. Just a little backstory, back when I was a teenager, I could make some really weird baking desserts.

I’ve gotten out of practice and thought “Oh! A two ingredient cookie. Should be easy.”

And at that point, I should have listened to the laughter in my head and coming from TC.

When something is easy, I’m bound to mess up.

Here is the recipe, taken from The Burlap Bag:

  • 2 bananas
  • 1 cup of oatmeal
  • Preheat to 350, and cram the mash into the oven. Leave for fifteen minutes.

I did all that. I’m not sure if my cookie puddles were too big (I had one sheet to work with and it was little for the amount of nana batter.) or my expectations were. I imagined the things would dry a little, be crispy.

Instead, they were little Play Doh blobs. A little soft (though that might have been my fault–buttered the pan.)

Ick. So I dropped them in for another fifteen minutes in the oven.

I’m very weird about oatmeal. I hate it warm in ANY situation. (Not a breakfast food person.)

So maybe this cookie voyage was doomed from the start, thinking back.

So the cookies, after another twenty minutes turned out great! Crisp. Still soft. A little less sugary. Maybe the baking took out the sweetness of the bananas or maybe they weren’t old enough?

So if you want a little sweeter, get some chocolate chips, maybe a teaspoon of brown sugar, or a drip of sweetened condensed milk, or something. But still, would do it again! 😀

Here’s my lovely mash up soundtrack today:


Happy Banana+Oatmeal Cookie Cooking to All! ❤

Cheer Up Kit + Catch Up!

Hey, guys!

I’ve been viciously lazy/busy lately. I’ve watched a few movies (no new releases yet) and been working and doing chores and reading and lots of spring cleaning. And I do have a few reviews that are ancient by now but I haven’t had the concentration to clean them up.

But here’s a quick little review to things I’ve enjoyed lately that someone else might like too.

Firstly, milkshake! It’s summer for most of us so a milkshake’s always a good thing to have. I don’t have ice cream at home (Edit: I lied. There are apparently still ice cream sandwiches in the freezer) so I make my drinks with ice.

So here it is: about two cups of ice, two cups of milk, a whole banana, three teaspoons of Nesquick, a very quick drip of vanilla. I crush the ice in the blender with banana. Have add milk, the Nesquik, and the dash of vanilla.

If you’re making it, the more you blend the ice, the less it seems to chill. I made mine extra icy. So it was thick and delicious.

If you add too much vanilla (and I did today) add more ice, a little milk, and another banana. It worked for me.

The usual recipe makes for either a very large milkshake or two normal sized ones.

So that’s that. Second, I have been feeling a little done lately. It’s just a million things and I think I will be better and less stressed when it’s pay day again. But one of the people who always cheers me up is Lindy Tsang, or Bubzbeauty on Youtube. She’s so bubbly and adorable and her blogs are so funny and lighthearted and inspirational.

Here’s the link. Start as early as you can. Her journey is amazing.

Third, I’ve been in love with the new music I’ve run into. Here they are:



(This one is so cool!)

The lyrics are so cute!

Hope this cheers you up like it did me! See ya later this week!

P.S. Special Deals is almost daily updated with the latest Young Adult Kindle books under $5!

P.P.S. Color Oracle for fun! Super accurate!

Today is Soundtrack Day!

Hey, guys!

I finally got around to watching The Fault in Our Stars and If I Stay and let me tell you. My mixed expectations were met. TFIOS had a beautiful bow tied ending but missed the little sad bits of the book (but I wasn’t partial to that in the first place.)

Besides, as far as I’m concerned, the ending has the final say. (Sorry about that pun.)

If I Stay had some stinging moments too, but they missed it with my fave part–where the grandpa says stuff–and they mutilated the ending. It really made me question if I read the thing I should have. I’ll really have to revisit but everything was like I imagined it and THE FAMILY. Can I just say the parents were just–MY HEART. OW.

Anyway. Today is now TFIOS soundtrack day. Happy Tuesday/Wednesday!


for extra love my all time fave “reviewer” Cinema Sins:

Special Post! Chameleon by K.T. Hanna Cover Reveal!

My dearest friend, K.T. Hanna’s Chameleon will be coming out soon and to celebrate, I’m hosting the cover reveal here. I am so excited and so happy for my buddy. We go way back so her success is definitely something I am proud of. Please give a warm welcome to K.T.!


Chameleon (The Domino Project #1) is a YA futuristic science fiction story. It’s set in the wasteland of earth after a meteor shower devastates landmasses, makes seas rise, introduces the psionic gene into the human race, damages the atmosphere, and gives the gift of an alien parasite to the world.
The goodreads blurb is as follows:
After Sai’s newly awoken psionic power accidentally destroys her apartment complex, she’s thrown into an intensive training program. The only grades are pass or die.

Surviving means proving her continued existence isn’t a mistake–a task her new mentor, Bastian, takes personally. Her abilities place her in the GNW Enforcer division, which partners her with Domino 12, who is eerily human for an alien-parasite and psionic hybrid. When her assassination duties are revealed, Sai understands the real reason for her training.

  On a mission to dispatch a dangerous Exiled scientist, she uncovers truths she never thought possible. Sai is unsure who to trust as her next mission might be her last, and a double agent seems to be manipulating both sides.

Without further ado – here is the cover, by the amazingly talented S.P. McConnell.
It’s finally here
CHAMELEON Domino Project Front with Text 2
Isn’t it GORGEOUS!?!?!
Sit back and bask in this for a moment.
It’s available for preorder for a special price of $2.99
Amazon Link

About the Author

KT Hanna has a love for words so extreme, a single word can spark entire worlds.
Born in Australia, she met her husband in a computer game, moved to the U.S.A. and went into culture shock. Bonus? Not as many creatures specifically out to kill you.
When she’s not writing, she freelance edits for Chimera Editing, interns for a NYC Agency, and chases her daughter, husband, corgi, and cat. No, she doesn’t sleep. She is entirely powered by the number 2, caffeine, and beef jerky.
Note: Still searching for her Tardis


To celebrate, we’re giving away 2 x $10 Amazon e-gift cards (open to anyone who can receive and use an Amazon e-card) Just click on as many options as you like and enter!

Books In Other Places

Hello, everyone!

I really have tried to find a list of books in different settings. However, either I’m horrible at searching (probable) or I’m finding exactly what there is on the topic.

So I will be finding some books and putting up a special page or maybe a static post with countries that are settings for YA and NA novels. Let me know if you have a set to add!

Too Much Time on My Hands Thursday!

So glad to be home from work. It was a little stressful and for now, I have nothing to do but anticipate the arrival of Insidious! So excited I could blugeon the internet. (But I won’t.)

One of my favorite things about the series is where the souls dwell. To be honest, the darkness and aloneness and stillness is really one of those things that I don’t see a lot. Or done well.

People are inherently scared of the dark. Of what may be in the dark (more accurately) and also what might not be there (anything to interact with.) So the fact that this movie pulled it off is great.

I was so creeped out by the first movie that by the time we got to the main antagonist, I wasn’t bothered by how bad the costume was. I mean, at that point, I didn’t care if he wore a paper bag over his head. I was still going to scream forever.

If you haven’t yet watched the movies, find a place to rent/buy/borrow them. Highly recommend if you’re into more psychological terror.

I’m excited not to want to sleep anymore afterward!

Teehee. *distant sob*

P.S. Here‘s where you can get those flipping a table emoticons for copy and paste. I really do have too much time on my hands. 😛

Amazon Buy! & the Book You Need to Read

I’d call it a haul but it really wasn’t.

So the reason I’m even doing a product review is because I just wanted to share how my finds on Amazon were.

First off, we all know Tobey needs stuff. Like a tag because we can still keep the hope alive that he will wander beyond the doorway.

This ID tag looked so cute. I wanted to get a normal one from the local store but was convinced by TC to give it a go.

Um, it looks just like it’s shown. The back is not engaged but printed or something like that.

The cat threw a fit when it went on his collar. I mean, it was the enemy.

Two days in, the enamel black of the fish is gone. The tag, which was thin and light and ideal at the time, is now pocked with teeth marks.

Yeah, it wasn’t the seller’s fault, but it is definitely not cat proof.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, you know, probably not worth the money, since I have to buy another one.

The second item I just got was my long longed for wallet. I don’t often buy wallets. At all. But I’m always shopping for the right one. I’ve retired two. One that was way too small and kinda pointless (my phone never fit in it without pressing all the buttons.) The other has holes everywhere and is from six years ago.

This is my new wallet. It just got here and it is exactly as shown. I obviously can’t say too much about it since it just got here, but I am in love with the wallet color and inside and space. So much space!

I’m crossing my fingers.

The only weird thing about it is that in the corner it says Forever Friend In Harmony. Which is weird, as mentioned but not bad. 😀

The other thing I got from Amazon is my favorite book from school. The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare. It’s the story of Kit, a spoiled rich girl from Barbados, who was orphaned and had to sell everything she owned and move to Puritan country to her estranged family.

I wore down my paperback from that era so much that the last page (which contains my favorite ending) fell off! I was so glad when they finally revived it with a digital version.

It’s my book of the week to really promote!

So that’s my adventure in Amazon shopping. If anyone has a cute pastel handbag suggestion, please let me know! My current one is black and from Wal-Mart (shockingly durable but way too dark for my wallet now.)

Happy Friday!